I took a 5 month break from my business… now what?

Where did I go, and where is Blue Butterfly Studio heading.

Hi! Hey! Hello!

I was gone for a very long time. Although I had intentions of coming back full business by mid-June, it turned out to not be true at all. It wasn’t until recently that I gathered the courage to finally write an appropriate update for those who were looking forward of my shop’s return. I would normally apologize and try to rush something rewarding that wouldn’t come out right with all the pressure, so I decided to hold my impulses and live in the moment—and a LOT was happening in the moment that needed my attention.

It has been 5 months since I was active with my shop, social media or production. I have not drawn, painted or done anything artistically for all those months. It is weighing on me how much my skill might have decreased since then, how much more trial and error I will have to face when I return, how many steps back I took after all the steps I have taken forward. Don’t get me wrong, my 5 month “break” was unavoidable, yet full of beautiful, joyful and exciting memories.

One of my biggest dreams came true, I got married to my best friend. He and I are now husband and wife. While it was nerve-wracking to leave my business alone, it was so rewarding the moments before, during and after our wedding. I have never felt so loved, so beautiful and so cherished like I did during that time. I wouldn’t have changed this moment for the world, and I don’t think anyone should. Something this precious has to be lived, experienced and sensed to its fullest.

Besides having a grand time getting married, my husband and I bought a house. Now, this was no normal house, it needed remodeling—lots of remodeling. And so our wedding kind of created this domino effect of our married journey towards stability. We are still not there yet, if you were wondering. And perhaps it would take way too long to get there.

The new house remodeling made it impossible for me to have my artistic space, a place that I could freely express anything through any medium. While I picked up the iPad every now and then, most of my evenings were spent on helping around the house and preparing it.

On top of that, it is worth mentioning that I also made a pivotal decision back in March

While I had enough time to work on my art, I realized I had no money to really invest and make it grow. So I made the decision of switching to a full-time job. Yup. The classic 9-5 job. And don’t be mistaken, I truly love my job. Doubt and uncertainty were definitely on my mind, I wondered…

When will I have time to work with clay?

Will I be able to paint watercolors again?

What if I feel that I don’t want to do art anymore?

So. Much. Fear.

Coming mid-June when my business was supposed to get back, I realized it was not possible. My studio space had become the storage of the house—there was no other space at that moment with all the moving. When the joys and the beautiful memories started passing by and I came back to a more new “normal” post wedding life…I felt empty and disappointed at myself.

It was so discouraging to me how I had given so much in 2021, so much advancement and experience and learning, just for me to halt everything barely a year in. It felt like I was never going be back at it again. Even if the thought of coming back was there, I could only think of the fear of rejection and people just ignoring me and having to build that trust again.

Because in reality, it felt like I failed anyone who looked up to me, who loved my art, who was waiting the right moment to purchase something from my shop and now it was gone.

However, 5 months is a very long time. Just how in the mist of running around there was time for joy and also time for sulking…there is also time for planning. And that’s what I did. I started planning my return. This blog post is the first part of it.

This break has made me reflect on what I truly want to do, what I want Blue Butterfly Studio to be, and what the real goals are. It is too early to say anything for certain, but I do have a clearer path to walk on. It might take a very long time to get there, but here is my first step.

I would love for you to continue on this journey with me, despite my long absence. I would love for you to be there first row when all the seeds I watered have bloomed. One thing is for certain, anything I create moving forward is aimed to bring joy and happiness to your day.

Blue Butterfly Studio will return with a bit of a makeover, better products and more Patitos, so keep tuning in!

Until then, keep kissing flowers.